In a society where ambition and collaboration often take centre stage, we are frequently told that the grass is greener on the other side. A better opportunity, a dream organization, or a coveted role seems like the ultimate prize. But sometimes, when we leap over the metaphorical fence, we find the reality to be starkly different. We may find ourselves tokenized, underappreciated, or exploited, realizing that the green pasture we envisioned isn’t as lush as we imagined.
This realization is not unique to any one field or person. It happens in workplaces, volunteer spaces, and even in personal relationships. And while the external factors that lead to this disappointment are often beyond our control, there is one thing we can control: how we treat ourselves.
This blog is about turning the focus inward and understanding that no matter the challenges we face, the most significant work we can do is learning to love ourselves intentionally, fiercely, and unapologetically. This self-love is not just an act of kindness but a foundation for thriving in a world that may not always recognize our worth.
“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” — Steve Maraboli
The Illusion of Greener Pastures
When we dream of working with our ideal organization or stepping into a coveted role, the vision is often bathed in optimism. We imagine the fulfilment, the accolades, and the satisfaction of contributing to something meaningful. But the reality can sometimes shatter those dreams.
Perhaps you’ve collaborated with an organization you deeply admire, only to feel tokenized—your ideas celebrated on the surface but never truly valued. You’re brought in to tick a box, to play a role in someone else’s narrative, while your essence and contributions are diminished.
Or perhaps you’ve volunteered tirelessly for a cause close to your heart, giving your time, energy, and passion freely. You believe that your dedication will be recognized and that when the opportunity for a paid role arises, you’ll be the obvious choice. But instead, when you hint at stepping away, they feign concern—not for your well-being, but for the potential loss of free labour.
And then, there’s the ultimate dream: landing that job you’ve fought so hard for. At last, you’re in the room where decisions are made, only to realize the paycheck is insultingly low, the salary inconsistent, and the treatment skewed by gender biases. The grass, it seems, wasn’t greener after all.
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.” — Katrina Mayer
Why Loving Yourself is Non-Negotiable
These experiences can be disheartening, leaving you questioning your worth and your path. But they also offer an important lesson: the world will not always recognize or reward your value. That’s why you must do it for yourself.
Loving yourself intentionally is about more than just self-care or surface-level affirmations. It’s about recognizing your inherent worth, setting boundaries, and cultivating the internal strength to thrive—even when the world around you feels unjust.
Here’s why self-love is so crucial:
- It Grounds Your Sense of Worth
When you rely solely on external validation—be it from a job, an organization, or even a relationship—you hand over control of your self-esteem. But when you anchor your worth internally, you become unshakable. Your value is no longer tied to how others treat you but to how you see yourself. - It Helps You Set Healthy Boundaries
Self-love empowers you to say no to situations that drain you or undermine your worth. It allows you to walk away from spaces that tokenize you or fail to compensate you fairly, knowing that your value doesn’t diminish just because someone else fails to see it. - It Fuels Your Growth
When you love yourself intentionally, you invest in your growth and well-being. This might mean pursuing further education, exploring passions outside of work, or simply giving yourself the grace to rest and recharge. - It Attracts the Right Opportunities
When you treat yourself with love and respect, you set a standard for how others should treat you. This energy can attract opportunities and people who align with your values, creating a more fulfilling path forward.
How to Practice Intentional Self-Love
So, how do you begin this journey of loving yourself intentionally? Here are some practical steps:
1. Reflect on Your Worth
Take a moment to reflect on everything you bring to the table—your skills, experiences, and unique perspective. Write them down if it helps. Remind yourself that you are valuable, not because of what you produce but because of who you are.
2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Learn to say no to situations that don’t serve you, even if they seem like opportunities on the surface. Whether it’s declining unpaid work that undervalues your time or stepping away from toxic environments, setting boundaries is an act of self-love.
3. Celebrate Your Achievements
Too often, we downplay our successes, waiting for someone else to recognize them. Instead, take pride in your accomplishments, big or small. Celebrate yourself, and don’t shy away from sharing your wins with others.
4. Invest in Yourself
Whether it’s taking a course, picking up a hobby, or simply dedicating time to rest, investing in yourself is a powerful act of self-love. Treat yourself as you would a cherished friend, nurturing your growth and happiness.
5. Advocate for Yourself
If you find yourself in situations where you’re undervalued, speak up. Advocate for fair treatment and compensation, and don’t hesitate to walk away if those demands aren’t met. Your worth is not up for negotiation.
“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” — Unknown
Cultivating Your Green Pasture
The saying goes, “The grass is greener where you water it.” This couldn’t be truer when it comes to your life and well-being. Instead of looking to external spaces to validate you, focus on cultivating your green pasture.
This might mean creating a fulfilling career path on your terms, building relationships that uplift and support you, or simply finding joy in the everyday moments of life. When you water your garden—through intentional self-love and care—you create a space that flourishes, regardless of what’s happening on the other side of the fence.
A Final Word
The world can be harsh and unjust, but that doesn’t mean you have to be harsh on yourself. In fact, the more the world challenges you, the more love and care you should give yourself.
Loving yourself intentionally is not just a way to survive—it’s a way to thrive. It’s a way to reclaim your power, to remind yourself of your worth, and to build a life that reflects the best of who you are.
So, the next time you find yourself looking over the fence, wondering if the grass is greener on the other side, pause. Look inward. Tend to your own garden. And remember: the greenest grass is the one you nurture yourself.
