In the existing noisy world, would you consider yourself a listener? Do you listen and get to hear what others have to offer? Get to know what they have to say, try to understand where they coming from, or even get some tips? Listening is a very powerful tool, yet ignored by many.
Listen and Learn
You don’t have to agree with what they have to say, but you need to have an open mind to grasp something useful.
You have to mean it, and for a second forget anything that might cause you not to give them a listening ear. Humor yourself and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Listening allows you to absorb more from whoever you are listening to. So you have to calmly listen t them, without having to ask questions. Allow your brain to be at ease, let it not listen with the intention to ask questions. But rather to gather information.
Understand and Action
With the collected information, make it useful.
Did you get anything new? Did you get corrected? Did you get why their reasoning is different from yours?
All our problems are connected if we all worked as a team without any selfish or greed motives. We can solve a whole lot of these problems.
We have all been taught what was believed to help us. Leading to various scripts. Which we end up unlearning as we grow up. From life experiences, we are able to tell what works and what needs to be changed. That’s why everyone is entitled to their opinions.
Human is to error
No human is perfect, despite their IQ, EQ, wealth, or wisdom. We all have weaknesses, how we handle them helps us survive on this beautiful plan through adaptation.
What happens when we refuse to adapt or accept circumstances? In the wilderness, its survival for the fittest. In our human world, strength doesnt necessarily save you but being smart on how you handle stuff.
Why not work with them?
When you have fought something for a long time, but nothing seems to materialize. You may need to change your tactics. But if that one fails too, then you better join them. If you can’t conquer them, then join them.
This doesn’t mean that you have lost but shows that you are ready to do anything to make things better. Influencing from inside works the magic.
Do I listen? Yes, I believe that I do…
I had a discussion with an old friend last night. He was railing against my ‘leftist’ view of reality. I listened to what he had to say (which mainly centred around his belief that his sister’s views were ‘clearly based on conspiracy theories’. I offered evidence in support of my arguments in the form of websearches such as https://is.gd/zJmfBA and two YouTube videos that I feel support my position (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPKKQnijnsM and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LopI4YeC4I). His response surprised me: he came back with ‘that’s in the US, I’m talking about the UK’, ‘fake news’ and ‘clickbait titles’; that is to say: deflection, not proper discussion.
At the end of the day, my view of reality has been developed over years. As has his. It’s an ideological divide, and not one that can be bridged easily.
If you can’t conquer them, then join them.
Not an option, sadly.
That’s the reality, and accepting both sides exists helps solve a wide range of problems . It even helps coming together for solutions despite different opinions.
For some reason my attempt to quote you didn’t render properly. I was trying to point out that your solution “If you can’t conquer them, then join them” doesn’t always work. ‘Accepting both sides’ may help to solve a wide range of problems, but it certainly cannot solve all of them — particularly ones that involve ideological differences, or where one party is in denial. Try using that technique when trying to discuss ‘reality’ with a flat-Earther, an anti-vaxer, or a creationist, for instance.
Sure, the aim is bringing them close and make them not see you like the one against them, but rather as one who understands their point of view. Then you can get an opportunity to know more about them, especially why they reason the way they do. You will have a better shot in the round to show and help them understand your stand.
🙂